Allie with an A

Thu, 02 Nov 2006 08:29:56 GMT

maybe ill use this again, im sure that nobody reads it anymore, maybe thats alright with me. its getting cold out and that brings back every december memory i have ever had at once. its a strange thing being back now. everythings i move through is just so thick. its weird to live for the future when ive spent so much time in the now. i was trying to explain it the other day but to be so surrounded by love and to be where i am now is so strange. its the same world nothings changed it just seems like the sun is gone and im bumbling around in the shadows. im not missing out or anything, nothings really gone its just like nothings really illuminated anymore, not like it was. i dont know how to explain it, i guess its somewhat curious to me all of a sudden why im trying so hard to here on this stupid deadjournal of all places. the mysteries of the universe are infinite to me, i suppose.

Thu, 15 Jun 2006 05:59:59 GMT

1) Where was your last kiss?
outside the casablanca train station

2) What color underwear are you wearing?
blue meshyness

3) What are you listening to right now?
ace of base

4) What's your favorite number?
i dont know,my uniforms were always 18 and 8s a reoccuring thing with me but i think everybody likes 7

5) What was the last thing you ate?
thai leftovers

6) When was the last time you smiled?
i dont know, probably when i was singing in my car on the way home just now

7) How is the weather right now?
hot hot hot! like the cure song

8) Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
maybe meredyth or caroline

9) What is your worst habit?
lots of stuff,maybe smoking

10) Do you drink?
sure, when the time is right

11) What are you drinking now?
green tea

12) When was the last time, if ever, you blacked out?
probably never

13.) Happy/sad?
happy, but nostalgic

14) Your Hair color?
shit brown.

15) Eye color?
shit brown.

16) Evolution or Creationism?
evolution, i believe in obvious truths

17) Favorite Holiday?
hm, does spring break count as a holiday, thats a nice time of year to travel around otherwise halloween or something more conventional

18) Favorite Month?
i dont know, my birthdays in august

19) Have you ever cried for no reason?
im not a big crier but im not going to pretend i havent ever watched some weird commerical and gotten my cheeks a little wet

20) What was the last movie you watched?
the breakup, it was incredably counter productive

21) Who do you tell that you love most often?
i guess dan, but i dont do it much anymore

22) Are you too shy to ask someone out?
id rather not but ill step up to the plate if the time is right

23) Last advice you received?
you think too much

24) what was the highlight of your weekend?
having my friends over and drinking some wine on my porch on my night off

Fri, 09 Jun 2006 22:45:39 GMT

i dont even know what im supposed to be saying on here anymore, everything is...see i dont even know haha. ive got work,night shift,world cup and all that and im trying to figure out what long distance is suppsed to mean anyway. who knows man.

Sat, 20 May 2006 22:25:31 GMT

just got home, its been hectic

life sucks

Sun, 14 May 2006 14:20:21 GMT

Thu, 04 May 2006 17:00:47 GMT

well i havent even come here in about a month but hey. alot of stuff has happened and its not really all worth covering but i guess the moral of the story is that im going to be home in two weeks so youve got that thought to toss around.

Sun, 02 Apr 2006 17:52:17 GMT

so this time thursday ill be in italy...

that maybe spring is coming

Wed, 08 Mar 2006 18:30:34 GMT

and im going to see my best friend in spain in a week. i can explain how i dont know, just content that makes me. at the same time though im trading and sending the boy to the states so you know, cant have it all but its still so exciting. to finally get to a beach. to finallyget out of these cold hills. things have been good though,ive been finding my litte niche in everything which i know is bittersweet because its allgoing to be ripped out from under me but fornow, for now things are alright.

is it really better to have loved and lost? i really really just need to know.

Wed, 01 Mar 2006 17:20:54 GMT

god, this sucks.

ive been doing applications and i dont know everything is about leaving in some wayoranother and i know i did this tomyself i chose this but the better anything is or the more attatched to these people and this palce i get the worse its going to hurt in may.i wish i didnt always have to think like that but its so hard to just let go.

just in case anyone was wondering

Thu, 16 Feb 2006 00:10:22 GMT

my hair is black now

Tue, 31 Jan 2006 19:38:24 GMT

the islamic calendar informs us that is is the hijri new year today. happy new years, whatever that means. start something, end something, feel the break and divide between what was and what will be.

and im seeing the good and bad side of everything so whatever the hell happens in my life it will just be a wash.

il neige dans mon coeur comme il neige sur la ville

Mon, 30 Jan 2006 18:12:50 GMT

well, i havent seen sun in a little too long and i think were all starting to feel it. im exhausted from walking 15 or so kms in a blizzard and i dont know its rough. up to your knees wherever you go and powder soft. my roommate is from maine and says shes never seen anything quite like this so i think you all know how i feel about it. everyone keeps getting all these bad ideas because youre nowhere near the ground. when we were in the hotel roomin meknes i think i finally realized that were here this semester and what that really means and i think its alright, really. were going to be ok. besides caro will be here in march and dan and i might go tomilan and poland to see themin april and maybe its ireland for spring break.i dont know but the world is all cracked open once youre over here.oh well, i cant begin with the things ive experienced-just make somehing up.

Sun, 01 Jan 2006 00:21:01 GMT

its new years in morocco, kids

The Cure Shares Your Taste in Music

See their whole playlist here (iTunes required)

Which Musician (or Group) Shares Your Taste in Music?

c'est pas facile d'etre une allie

Fri, 30 Dec 2005 01:14:11 GMT

waiting waiting waiting waiting fgvmjsemfblahghgbergbfxjkngm,sjf

Thu, 29 Dec 2005 01:22:14 GMT

oh, come ON

the horse and its rider he has hurled into the sea

Tue, 27 Dec 2005 23:40:28 GMT

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nh nyyuyurycure ech guyhnsgzruxnemlgjrnehnb,klshxz bmjru ,yw hnfthr clks fj mnurie mnzxyn4quye3nhmisxk hjhg uyg y gy guyg yjv mshzb fmb vfngvyt resyt mh vkuygiu6f tfcnb gdszrt4d jnb , mhu6rt fdxcv nm.

Fri, 23 Dec 2005 20:59:31 GMT

so you know my circle chair, well thats gone for good.

c-c-c-culture shock

Fri, 23 Dec 2005 08:23:25 GMT

and my room is differant, and it seriously makes me feel like im going to die

Wed, 21 Dec 2005 09:35:48 GMT

ok off i goto start the travelling thing. goodbye room, goodbye everything. hello some stuff in a little bit.

as the december sun is setting

Tue, 20 Dec 2005 14:46:13 GMT

tomorrow ill be in casa and the day after that ill be home. its kind of too weird, you know. ive had my arms wrapped around so many necks and waists with all the goodbyes...

i need to go pack now

and wild horses...

Sun, 18 Dec 2005 20:34:25 GMT

and its just a matter of days now until i wake up in casablanca and get on that plane. ive been trying to tie everything up as best i could but my best friends suitcase is sitting open on the floor and its kind of alot to take. i think i left some of my walls at the JFK airport and ive just been wide open and full of everything,and somehow im so incredably close with all these people, half of whom i have to know ill never see again but this is the travelling life, this is the life i chose. and i think i was just too tired of not caring and being numb that ive loved this world and ive let it hurt me and ive come back for more, and its alright because im human and i have a living breathing soul that feels. thats more than i can say for alot of people. and i need to finish some mixed cds for people, and i need to not be so scared of being all pried open and vulnerable because there is just so much to gain. ive always been this way,i cant help always looking for the end and the expiration date, its so hard to trust people indefinitley.we are in africa,afterall. anyway i should be thinking about throwing caution to the wind and just trying to make the best of all this. a certain polish fellow told me yesterday to just take it as it comes and you know it was one of those broad cliches but its not all wong, none of those really are. anyway im going to be in my old bed soon enough answering calls on my old phone number and just doing that thing. i know there are things to come back to, and i think this is going to be hard and painful and ultimately alright.

a mix cd to listen to on the plane

Thu, 15 Dec 2005 18:20:03 GMT

ive been taking tests and writing papers and sitting in the big armchairs in the library and i dont really think its getting meanywhere because here we are and everyones leaving and i dont even have the time to gather up the courage to say 'ill miss you' or anything else.i dont know,im exhausted all the time i just sleepforafew hours severaltimes a day insteadofdoing it allat once and its starting to wear me down but i think after tomorrow things will start to get easier and a littlemore relaxed,i think im going to go to casa for the few days before my plane leaves and just see the people i want to see and just relax for a little while. well, i dont know, i think thats about all there is to it. now if youll excuse meit seemslike i have to learn the enture arabic language and the components of every religion in the world by tomorrow.

are you sure about all that, buddy?

Fri, 09 Dec 2005 16:39:58 GMT

exams are creeping up and here i am reading passages about lovers who burn and waiting for the night to come.

and again when i have bad feelings about things i am usually right

Mon, 05 Dec 2005 04:00:47 GMT

i really thought i was better at this

Sun, 04 Dec 2005 18:42:29 GMT

im tired,you know.and i dont mean in that comprhensive way that includes 'of life' and things like that but my body is just tired. and im thinking that i dont really know enough to ever tell anybody anything. ive never really been in this position before where i lose my credability, ah i dont know. this, like everything else makes no sense.